The Power of Creativity.

Grief, loss, and major changes in life can bring different thoughts, feelings, and emotions to the surface. As humans, and I speak from experience, I think we all like to have everything nicely pieced together, controlled and in order, so life is manageable, stable and the ‘drama’ that may appear from time to time isn’t a feature, but I guess life isn’t that simple.

I have had a few losses in my life, a friend in my 20’s, my Nan in my early 30’s and now my dad has left us. In addition to that, other fundamental changes have happened recently for life to move into a direction that is supportive and stable; I’m not naive enough to think that life will work out and just be plain sailing from now on, so many things are out of our control, but intentions are everything, and I am focused on healing and creating a life I love and am truly passionate about.

How long do any of us have? Nothing is guaranteed. At the end of my life, I am not going to get a gold star that confirms I did everything right, or how others would have expected me to; I will be part of nature, maybe a beautiful bird, just like the others that came before me. queer's the thing I have realised, Living a life on my own terms is the greatest gift I can give to myself right now, and I welcome this with open and healing arms.

There is no one way to deal with grief and loss. When I was 23, losing a friend was diffiult; when I look back now, I realise that as well as the circumstances being tragic and so unexpected, I had little life experience to deal with such emotions at that time. Losing a parent is an odd feeling, but being in my late 30’s, I feel much more equipped to deal with what is happening, but it still hurts.

In addition to life experience, I have creativity. I didn’t realise the power of creating art, until I started taking it seriously and launched Queer I Am the Podcast last year. This podcast is going from strength to strength; it is so special to me as it combines my passion for creating art, with my love of being Queer and the Queer community.

When I create my art, or I do something that supports the project, I have focus; even in the moments when I cannot manage much else, there is a focus that supports me having structure in my day, it takes me out of my overactive ruminating thinking mind, gives me a sense of wellbeing, and is helping me with managing loss. When I look back to last year, even prior to experiencing loss, my mood and self-esteem improved dramatically from the previous year – this isn’t just a coincidence; creativity was and is an enabler.

Creativity, having a purpose and a focus, is the medication I need to heal right now; without it, I think I would be in a very low place. Things aren’t easy, and I don’t know how long my healing will take, but I am certain that these things will help. I am not a therapist, and I cannot give medical advice, but if you are thinking of trying something new to support your wellbeing, give it a go; it really could make all the difference.

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

A x

P.s... You can download Queer I AM, THE PODCAST RIGHT NOW. BELOW IS EPISODE 1 OF SEASON 1, WITH THE INCREDIBLE WAIN DOUGLAS, AKA KARA VAN PARK XX